Questions From the Bar Crowd

In Dating, Sex on December 23, 2009 at 8:06 am

Tonight I ventured out to The Cowgirl BBQ in Downtown Santa Fe, New Mexico. What started innocently as dinner with old friends ended in the sordid collecting of random people’s concerns. Yenta came out of hiding.

Here are flash answers to three men’s burning questions:

Man #1) Why is it that most women tend to react in a negative way towards a threesome?

Simple, deary. A) No woman likes competition, so if you are proposing introducing a third party into a monogamous pair, depending on how you breach the topic she will feel unlovable. B) Women rarely like to be objectified as a viewing station for some skeezy dude at a bar’s lesbian fetish. If she wanted to do another girl, she’d probably leave the man out of it. C) You might just be talking to the wrong women. D) It is all in the asking.

Man #2) Why are games part of most relationships?

Games are the things we play either for entertainment or to get our back’s. When people feel insecure about being abandoned or rejected, they will weave in and out of opening their heart in order to test the water and make sure they don’t get burned, again. ie, if you want to stop the games, approach everything with sincerity and try to ditch the bullshit at the door. The safer people feel, the less likely they will use games to protect their hearts from getting broken. Just don’t go breaking the heart after you eradicate the game. Then we are all back at square one.

Man #3) Why do women always go after men that don’t treat them well, and then when there is a guy that treats them well, they treat that guy like crap?

Hmmm…well, since I sat next to this guy and played wingwoman to help him pursue the hot blonde to my left, I will say this: nice guys with no game or confidence will get treated like crap because women like it when someone goes out of their way to snag their attention, for the guy to then be capable of holding it. This lovely sweet man asking the question will get walked on time and time again because he is too scared and insecure and has very weak conversation skills.

This leads me to part two of the answer: women go for men who treat them like shit because they have low self-esteem and don’t believe they deserve love. Others do it because they have low self-esteem and don’t believe they deserve love and because their Daddy’s treated them like shit so the discomfort is actually comforting, brings them home. They then treat nice guys like crap because either a) they don’t believe they deserve to be treated so nicely b) the nice guy’s lack of backbone is too obvious and the woman knows he won’t stand a chance against her dark side and c) many women like assertive men more than wet blankets. Unfortunately many assertive men are assholes and many wet blankets are nice guys. Ideal man: assertive, kind and confident.

Better question: Nice guy – why do you always seek out women who take you for granted and treat you like shit?

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