Dear Yenta,

Can you train your dog to stop licking your face when you are having sex with your boyfriend?

-Slobbered

She's a sexy poodle, but does she belong in your bedroom?

Dear S,

Hmmm…I imagine so. Is it polite to have sex in front of your dog? This is the real question I have. If dogs are as loyal as Mickey Rourke says, then shouldn’t doing your man in front of a puppy be like doing your man in front of your sister/brother/son/daughter/best friend? Isn’t this rude? Or is it a threesome? I know a dog is an animal, especially clear to those of you who enjoy domesticating them, but don’t forget the living breathing feeling being inside that body.

Who am I, though? A Yenta without a pet. For all I know dogs LOVE watching their “owners” have sex in front of them. So, if you don’t opt to close the door and leave your dog out of your sexual forays, then this is probably like anything else you train your dog to do. Just remember what you did to train your pup to sit, roll over, fetch, pee outside – it shouldn’t be too much different.

Or, as one woman suggests, “Try putting bacon between your toes.” That’s a solid use of traif if I have ever heard of one.