Dear Yenta,

This is awkward, but I am 28 and I don’t seem to be producing semen when I come. At all. Help?

-Dried Up

Stifler heads to the sperm bank.

Dear DU,

Again, a reminder/disclaimer: I am not a doctor. But I do have some mad Google skills and can help you with this one. What you are experiencing is called “Dry Orgasm.” According to MaleSpermSpecialists.com, this condition is called “Azoospermia,” “the complete absence of ejaculate.” The Mayo Clinic explains that this is when “the semen goes into the bladder instead of out through the penis.” They say it is also called, “retrograde ejaculation.” Another good word for this, “anejaculation.”

In lieu of child-production and sperm, your lack of ejaculate could mean two things. Either 1) you are not producing any sperm at all or 2) you are producing sperm but it is mis-firing, ie, into the bladder or elsewhere.

What does this mean? You probably want to head to a doctor immediately. There is a chance you have a simple case of enlarged prostate, a valve issue, or some kind of blockage, but it could also be worse. There are a number of diseases and ailments ranging from cancer to a spinal chord injury that could be blocking your fluid flow. Diabetes is often connected to this issue.

Go to the doctor now, rather than later, because some of these issues can be remedied, upping your chances of a) thwarting the progression of a potential disease and b) possibly fixing the problem so you can, one day if you so choose, have babies.

For more details on examining and treating the issue, click here.

Merissa Nathan Gerson is a fan of

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