merissanathangerson

Grabs Her Boobs In Public

In Dating, Drama, Sex on May 15, 2010 at 6:49 am

Keep those filthy paws off her silky drawers. Photo courtesy of Victor Jeffreys II, phiary.com/diary/victor.

Dear Yenta,

When I am with my girlfriend at parties, I like to sometimes grab her breasts in public and she seems to like it too.  Some woman came up to me tonight and told me this was wrong.  What?  Who is she to tell me what to do with my girlfriend?  Is it wrong, really?

Sincerely,

Copping a Feel and Liking it

Dear CAFALI,

Well, I guess there are different standards for each woman.  Some women don’t mind if you grab them in public, and others do.  Some men don’t mind having people witness their sexual affection for their woman’s parts, and others do.  It comes down to a matter of personal preference.

Is it “wrong” to grab her boobs in public?  That is really for her to determine.  My only caution is this: some women have a hard time saying no, even when it feels wrong.  Some women like pleasing men and will let go of their own dignity to do so.  Some women don’t know that they can expect a man not to grab her breasts in public.

And then, some women get off on it.  I personally abhor witnessing people grope on each other in ways that provoke the imaginings of what happens behind closed doors, but that is just me.  I prefer a PG display of PDA, and am generally irritated when I see things, like, for example, tonight when I watched a woman loop her hand tightly in the inner part of her man’s groin, rubbing one hand brusquely across his penis.  No.  When I reached for another potato chip on the BBQ buffet, I didn’t expect to see that.

But my discomfort is my problem.  Grope away if you really think your woman friend feels respected, despite you being inside of her shirt in front of strangers.  The only way, though, to really know if she is down for some staged feeling up is to ask her when you aren’t already mid-act.  Talk about this in private, perhaps sober and in daylight, to be sure you aren’t accidentally pushing your lover into a space of shame and discomfort.

Ask Yenta!  E-mail a question to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com directly, or using www.send-email.org to ask anonymously.

Merissa Nathan Gerson is a fan of
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  1. Really? Don’t take into consideration anyone else’s feelings? When you are in public you need to behave in a respectful manner towards everyone, not just your own group. We all need to get along with one another and try to be inoffensive when in public situations. This behavior is, in my eyes and in most women’s eyes, extremely offensive and disrespectful. One might also take into consideration that it might be a trigger for some women who have been mistreated and abused in the past. His behavior is degrading and embarrassing, and says a great deal about how he perceives women in general. If he wants to treat her that way in private, and she is fine with it, hey, whatever floats your boat. But in public? Please, try to remember there are others who are witnessing this as well, and be respectful of them.

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