We have come a long way from the original yenta, "Yente Telebende," a comical gossip in 1920's Yiddishkite theater. Photo courtesy of Victor Jeffreys II, phiary.com/diary/victor.

With nods to Dr. Ruth, Dear Abby, heck even Delilah, I realized I was slightly off base when the real original Yenta came to me earlier this summer.  One thing left out of my first definition of a Yenta:  the coiner of the term here in America, himself.  After an AskYourYenta radio show, I received an e-mail from Mr. Yenta’s grandson with a quick history lesson on the word.

Yes, indeed, the term “yenta,” then “yente” was popularized by a humorist in the 1920’s and 1930’s by the name of Jacob Adler, pen name B. Kovner.  “Yenta Telebenta” (or “Yente Telebende”) was an off-Broadway play and the name of a comic gossip in his writings, which imprinted the “Yinglish,” Yiddish and English word upon the American public in New York.

In the age of Yiddish theater in the 20’s and 30’s, a “yente” started referring to a busybody or gossipmonger and then grew to a popular slang word.  In addition to being his wife’s name and being the title of a play, Yenta was also B. Kovner’s character in a fifty-year writing career for The Jewish Daily Forward.

For an example of Jacob Adler/B. Kovner’s humorist writing, click here.

Ask Yenta!  E-mail a question to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com directly, or using www.send-email.org to ask anonymously.

Merissa Nathan Gerson is a fan of

Ask Your Yenta

Lucille Clifton, 1936-2010

Lucille Clifton: Poet, Writer, Educator
June 27, 1936 – February 13, 2010

A personal favorite, Clifton was notorious for speaking worlds with very few words. Those few words then multiplied to create an enormous literary blessing.
For that which she shared, I am humbled and grateful.

why some people be mad at me sometimes

-Lucille Clifton

Click here for Clifton’s New Yorker obituary.
Click here for an extensive bio.
Click here for more of her poems.

The Year of the Golden Tiger, White Tiger, Iron Tiger….is the 4707th Chinese New Year. Many say this will be a year of intense clashes, of power and of grace. See below for more.

This is the year of the Iron White Tiger.

I am no expert, but I do like new beginnings. Whatever comes of this year, this week is a good time, says a wise Buddhist in Boulder, for recollection of the year past (since February 25th 2009), and for setting goals and intentions for the year to come.

Happy Year of the Tiger from Your Jewish Yenta!

For more on tigers and the Chinese zodiac, click here.
For more on tigers and their general symbolic meaning, click here.
For more on predictions for the Year of the Tiger, watch this.

For International Women’s Day, here are a series of strong, vocal, in-your-face and influential Jewish women who may have, without your even realizing it, changed your world.

Dr. Ruth is the ultimate Yenta - wise, forthright, change-making.

The Wisdom of Women

Dr. Ruth

“An orgasm is just a reflex like a sneeze.”
“Don’t criticize in the sack. Discuss constructively later….”
“Talking from morning to night about sex has helped my skiing.”

Paula Abdul

“Constructive criticism is about finding something good and positive to soften the blow to the real critique of what really went on.
“Everyone is your best friend when you are successful. Make sure that the people that you surround yourself with are also the people that you are not afraid of failing with.”
“Find fitness with fun dancing. It is fun and makes you forget about the dreaded exercise.”

Flyest of the fly is a Jewess with chutzpah.

Elizabeth Taylor

“I sweat real sweat and I shake real shakes.”
“I’ve been through it all, baby, I’m mother courage.”
“I’ve only slept with men I’ve been married to. How many women can make that claim?”

Ann Landers

“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest – never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.”
“Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass.”
“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”
“Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
“Love is friendship that has caught fire.”

Laura Schlesinger

“This is all you have. This is not a dry run. This is your life. If you want to fritter it away with your fears, then you will fritter it away, but you won’t get it back later.”

Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby)

“If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.”
“If you want a place in the sun, you’ve got to put up with a few blisters.”
“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.”
“There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who walk into a room and say, “There you are” and those who say, “Here I am””
“True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.”

Bella Abzug

“Women have been trained to speak softly and carry a lipstick. Those days are over.”
“The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.”
“I prefer the word “homemaker” because “housewife” always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”

Ask Yenta Anything!  Click Here.

For more Yenta, visit Ask Your Yenta at JewishJournal.com.

Merissa Nathan Gerson | Create Your Badge

Kenny from Milwaukee

I sat next to Kenny from Milwaukee on my Westward bound flight. He was wearing a floor-length black mink coat and giant puffy slippers meant to look like black and white tap shoes. I found him earlier, waiting for takeoff, pacing angrily because he was waiting on his fourth layover since the night before. At that point he was wearing alligator leather shoes and disappeared for a while. I thought he was a preacher, all these books in hand. I figured all that pacing was bible toting.

He came back excited like a kid on Christmas holding these giant puffy slippers which he quickly changed into, letting out loud sighs and oohs and ahhs of relief. I found out, waiting in line together to board, that he had been in those alligator shoes since the night before when he was kicked off a plane for misconduct. He was an antique trader and he made a friend on the flight who was also interested in antique trading. They began talking about Japanese snuff boxes and the man behind them asked them to “shut up.” Apparently he had been in the war and didn’t want to hear about Japan.

Kenny said he turned around and said “Man, this is America, and we can talk if we want to talk.” And that man behind him kept telling him, belligerently, to shut up, talking down to him. After enough shut-ups Kenny went a bit nuts on the man and all three of them were escorted off the plane by cops. “Well,” Kenny said, “he brought the black out in me.”

The man who was antagonizing Kenny and his friend was banned from the airline for life, and the other two were re-routed, hence Kenny and my time together in line. I was sitting alone in my row on the plane when there was suddenly a big to do and Kenny kindly gave his seat up so a family could sit together. He chose my row, of the many options, and continued talking to me. He told me all about smoking doobies on the beach in California and then all about how antique trading was where the money was at.

He pulled a bunch of valuable wooden pieces from his bag and handed them to me to evaluate. “This one was smuggled out of Russia, it is worth ten grand,” among others. I had my camera phone and asked him if I could photograph his hands. He was wearing gold and diamond rings and had on that mink. He said yes, but told me to wait, and pulled out a money clip with a wad of hundreds and posed proper before handing me a photo of himself in his other mink.

Somewhere soon after that I put on headphones and took a nap and Kenny pulled out a soggy Whopper from his leather briefcase, wedged between all those antiques. I was eating oatmeal from the snack pack and was a bit envious of the burger and coke to my left. Kenny asked me to make sure I put his photo on my website, and that I title it, “The Cool-Ass Man Who Sat Next to Me On the Plane.” I try not to ever break a promise.

Brittany Murphy
11.10.1977 – 12.20.2009

Some of us were more influenced by Brittany Murphy as Tai Frasier in Clueless than others.

In a fight with her friend Cher, Tai spurts, “Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re a virgin that can’t drive!”

In a later interview about the role, Brittany Murphy said,
“It’s hard for me to believe it’s been 10 years since that movie. I really was a virgin who couldn’t drive. I was living in an apartment in the Valley with my mom – and I remember starting to see these huge billboards of us all over town. It was amazing!”

Murphy appeared on the following TV shows: Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Frasier, Sister, Sister, Party of Five and Boy Meets World. If you grew up with TGIF early 90’s TV, or grew to enjoy King of the Hill’s Luanne, then this woman touched you.

Having memorized most of the lines to Clueless, I bow my head in rememberence of the quick flash that was Brittany Murphy’s contribution to the coming of age of myself and other 80’s babies.

Dear Yenta,

Should I listen to your advice if I’m not Jewish? Would you answer
this question differently if I were Jewish?

I think this should go under the mental health category, as I get a
little nutty.

Sincerely,

Goyish

Dear G,

Yenta’s advice = non-denominational words delivered to someone who solicits it. As for the Jewish nature of a Yenta, perhaps a slight education is in order.

What, you may be wondering, is a Yenta? It is a Yiddish word for a matchmaking elderly gossip or busybody. A Yenta is someone who might be in charge of spreading rumors, giving advice, helping you find a nice Jewish boy. According to the Urban Dictionary, “Just as there are bad witches and good witches, so there are good yentas and bad yentas. A good yenta provides you knowledge and wisdom about everything.”

“Yenta,” however, is just a Yiddish word for a universal character. Every community has an older woman who knows and sees all the local social happenings, and may meddle where both needed and unneeded. So yes, goy or no goy, the advice, although flowing from a Jewess, knows no borders.

Moby Thesaurus says the following words are synonyms of Yenta: Paul Pry, Peeping Tom, a tale-bearing animal, backseat driver, busybody, eavesdropper, gossip, gossip columnist, gossiper, gossipmonger, inquirer, inquisitive, inquisitor, intermeddler, kibitzer, meddler, newsmonger, newspaperman, nosy Parker, prier, pry, querier, querist, questioner, quidnunc, reporter, rubberneck, rubbernecker, rumormonger, scandalmonger, scopophiliac, sightseer, snoop, snooper, tabby, talebearer, taleteller, tattler, tattletale, telltale, tittle-tattler, voyeur.

With the advice, do what you will, be you black, white, orange or blue, Muslim, Sikh, Christian or Jew. Take it or leave it, sugar.

I am on writing residency for November and December, ’09 at the Santa Fe Art Insitute in New Mexico. Other artists and writers on residency include Jeesoo Lee, Pinar Yolacan, Karl Cronin, Frances Ya-Chu Cowhig, and Scott Bailey. Among the 12 residents this month we span the following countries in root and origin: Brazil, Turkey, Korea, Poland, Taiwan, Greece, and the USA.